Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
