Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
