You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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