He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
