i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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