Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
