we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
