Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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