Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I love you.
Bad choice
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
