Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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