i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
