I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The adults are the big ones right?
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