he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
