I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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