getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She bit a glass in half.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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