she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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