You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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