You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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