So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
