The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
our cab driver is having phone sex.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
