i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
