Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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