Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
