If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
