We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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