Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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