please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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