before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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