So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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