i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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