Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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