I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
