Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
two words: eviction party
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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