He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
