Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
