we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
