He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
