my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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