wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
