I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
