I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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