She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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