Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
