We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
whose ass print is on the piano?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
