i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
