I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
