He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
