can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
