you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
