its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
